I’ll let you in on a secret, adoption is tough, it’s messy, and it’s something that should never happen! However, it is necessary because life is tough, messy, and people do things that should never happen. In a perfect world, parent’s don’t die, become addicted to drugs, hate their children and the idea of being a parent, and many other reasons that contribute to our world being full of orphans.
Before you say, “Oh how wonderful,” acknowledge that adoption = loss. Before you say, “It must be wonderful to be chosen,” realize that most children would rather have their birth parents than being adopted. Each adoptee is different, however, most adoptees cringe when they hear “chosen.” Also, be careful before you use a biblical reference to adoption to equate modern-day adoption. And especially don’t say, “Jesus was adopted.” That will get a Christian adoptee really fired up. When it comes to adoption in Scripture, there is more eisegesis than exegesis!
Now like all people, each adoptee is different. Circumstances, age at the time of foster/adoption, personality, etc., will cause different reactions. However, before you make heroes out of the adoptive parents (which most don’t want), consider the pain of the children, the birth mother and possibly father, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. Acknowledge that with every adoption, there is loss!